GOLF BAG CAPER

TOM BUTTON'S GOLF BAG CAPER

( Or Marv, when you're golfing with Tom, watch where he puts his bag. )

It was a day - not like all days, because this just had a certain feel about it - like you knew and felt that something would happen. And we were not disappointed because it did!

Seven true and stalwart OSC'ers had met at Green Lakes Golf Course for a round of golf and friendship Tuesday, June 8th, our season's then warmest day of the year. Arley and Irene Morey teamed up with Joan "Honey" Salem and Terry "Boy" Avery while Tom Button, Marv Patnode and Dick MIlewski went out as a threesome. (Now right there you should begin to suspect the prospects for some type of happening!)

The morning was bright, warm and the views at this course beautiful. Nothing out of the ordinary for the front 9 except a missed shot here and there and not too many pars accomplished in the process.

At the conclusion of the climb to green #9 and the continuing hike to reach the club house, Joan Honey had had enough exercise, done in, and Irene took her home to Irene's house to simmer down. Milewski had orders from headquarters that he better cut it short, so off he went.

Terry was feeling a bit low on energy, so with Marv's help, this twosome rented a cart. Morey and with Button's declaration, "I guess we're the only two YOUNG ONES left in the GROUP!", set off to conquer the back 9.

Good drives all for holes #10 and 11. On 12, a little difficulty and we noted another MUCH YOUNGER AND SWIFTER foursome was overtaking us. We did the honorable thing and bekoned the YOUNGSTERS to play thru us. As we had finished on 12 before this could take place, we chose to hold up at the 13th tee and Marv duly parked the cart.

Arley and Tom came up with Tom placing his bag DIRECTLY BEHIND the golf cart.

Now we don't think that Tom himself is old enough to have been in the 'D'-Day invasion of Normandy just recently celebrated, but his golf bag looked as though it had - and maybe with the landings at Okinawa Iwo JIma as well. So, he says to Marv, "Back up your cart so the group behind us can pass by easier."

Marv BACKS UP the cart (he could have gone forward) to the sounds of CRUNCH, RIP, SMASH and the dribbling of golf balls and tees going helter skelter.

Tom is standing at the side looking aghast at the mayhem that has happened to his beautiful bag and exclaims," WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? " Marv, not realizing Tom's bag had been positioned directly behind the cart, turned to look sideways with a very puzzled look on his face that said, "What was that?"

Now Tom's bag was equipped with enough golf balls and tees to have outfitted the entire Tuesday Morning Ladies League that was playing this day. It RUPTURED spewing forth its contents much to the amusement of the foursome behind us and to Terry and Arley also though the latter two did their utmost to restrain themselves. Further, since the cart had come to rest right on Tom's bag, it was necessary to drive over it again so as to clear the clubs and the caddy.

Oh, it was a smashing move! On succeeding holes - particularly where one needed to aim either slightly left or slightly right - Tom had just the properly bent shaft club. With the bag in tatters, and no place to put his wealth of golf balls, Marv offered the wire basket affixed to the golf cart. As to the tees, Tom stuffed his pockets and the excess we think he swallowed. (He's not one to let good things get away from him without a tussle.)

Obviously, there was a degree of laughter generated by this incident, which we're reasonably sure Tom will disclaim having any remunerative intent by the deft placing of his bag behind the cart.

The outing concluded by sudsing down some beer at Marv's expense and Tom advising that his lawyer would in all likelyhood recommend an out-of court settlement.

Preceeding authenticated by: Guy Wire